Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in findserenity's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
12:42 pm	Im a fatass OKay today i start my new diet. I know that earlier today i have already eaten a shit load of donuts but i threw them up so its okay. I just drank a slim fast that i stole out of the teachers lounge because it looked good but it really didnt taste all that great. I cant stand being as big as i am i know that dustin (my boyfriend) loves me the way i am but i want to be able to put on a bathing suit and not feel like i cant eat all day if im in it. I hate that feeling so im gunna start something new. i was gunna work out today but it is so fuckin cold so im gunna wait until it get super hot so that i can wear my long sleeves and sweat a whole lot that is my plan anyways. i told dustin that i have to go on a diet and i think he understands or at least he trys to. but i really need to just get some fucking will power and not eat when it aint the right time. but oh well it will work itself out im gunna find a diet online and try to stick with it okay bye (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 6th, 2006
8:48 am	Pain in The ass OKay, so im a senior in high school and im in love with this wonderful guy and i want to be with him forever and i know that i am, but what i dont want is to have to deal with all the bullshit that goes along with him he has these friends that i hate and want to just fucking pull thier hair out. enough of that what am i supposed to do about being fat i dont get it i want to be able to wear cute clothes and things and i dont think that i can do that ever. and i have this temper that i really need to get rid of what do i do i just get so pissed off so easily and dont know what to do about it. how do i handle it. (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 9th, 2006
9:11 am	I hate my life im sick of being a fat ass and I think i hate my best friend. i dont understand why i cant be around her without feeling like a complete loser she has a job and a car and all i do is play sports and make good grades at school and it makes me sick i hate being me i love my boyfriend he is the only thing that i have that makes me feel okay he tells me how beautiful i am when i know that im not he tells me how smart i am when i know that im not he tells me my good qualities and i love that in him hes so cute and hes so sweet he treats me so good and i will never give him up i want to be with him forever and he said that he wants to be with me forever and i love that about him he will never leave me i love him (Comment on this)
Friday, January 6th, 2006
1:11 pm	Football I live in a town with about 2000 people not to mention it is in texas. I have decided that football is the only thing that our town lives for. Its the only thing that any small texas town has. its the only thing that brings a town together every fall friday night the entire town comes together to watch what they believe to be heros ( the players) i being from this small town i have no idea what to do when spring comes on friday nights i am lost and confused what will i do when i graduate where will i go and who will i spend my time with. (Comment on this)
Friday, December 16th, 2005
10:33 am	Im so effin Well this whole diet thing sux really about i cant seem to make it work everytime i say that im goin to i always wind up eating candy or something. i want to go throw up i think that i might actually do that here in a second. I need help. I just went and threw up. and i know that is ridiculous, but it seems to make me feel better. and i know that that prolly sounds bad but i dont think it is all that bad maybe it will kill me one day but i would rather die than be fat. (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 15th, 2005
11:01 am	Its so hard Okay so my mom and dad are in the process of this divorce and it hurts really bad, not that i ever got along with my mom because i cant stand her but my dad is always angry when it comes to her. and me and him never get to spend any time together and when we want to he wants my little sisters to come and i love them but sometimes i just want to be with daddy i dont get it how come he doesnt want to be with just me and he always has to have one of them around. i dont understand do i make him upset does he not want me and only me at times all he ever talks about is his girls but when he does hes talkin about my baby sisters and not me its like im not even there im just that kid that eats and sleeps at his house i dont get it. and im so fat and its so hard to lose wieght and all this crap sux so bad and my boyfriend is so sweet to me hes the only person that i want to be around lately hes the only person who can make me feel better about things maybe i am just wining to much oh well it will work out help help help (Comment on this)
Monday, October 24th, 2005
1:24 pm	Death I decided that I hate my life there are very few things about it that make me happy and i know that i wont kill myself but i know as long as i walk these halls of this fuckin high school that it is goin to suck because the people are like damn sheep that follow what ever everyone else says they dont know how to be their own person and it makes me sick and i want to just scream most of the time why is it like this. i know that i could never kill myself but i do do stupid shit to myself to make me feel better . I know that i have become very dark lately but it feels wierd because i painted my nails black and wear alot of black now but i dont want people to think that i amd doin it for the attention but i am doin it because thats how i feel at the moment i feel horrible and want people to know that i hate it i hate it i hate it (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
1:05 pm	Yeah Thats Life So, its homecoming week and I hate school i hate everything about it. I used to love it but this year i hate everyone around me the only person that i can put up with is my best friend. I seriously just dont know how to handle all the dumbasses that are at this school thank god that i get to graduate this year and tell all these people to kiss my ass and go to hell because they are stupid. they make me want gouge my eyes out with hot pokers they are all so stupid sometimes. i dont get it. and i wrecked my dad's car and its great so now he wants to kill me probably but its cool i did get a boyfriend who i care about so much its weird because for a long time i was just a loner and i had sex but never got into relationships but with him i want a relationship that aint all about sex and i love him for that i dont mean that i am in love with him but i have a feeling that i will fall in love with i dont get it its wierd oh well talk to yall latter (Comment on this)